千鹤心语又来啦！今天要加油哦！
不努力是要结婚的，努力以后就可以住好点的养老院，到时候和很多优质老头当邻居了。
If you don work hard, you will get married. If you work hard, you can live in a better nursing home and become neighbors with many high-quality old men.
如果一个男生经常化妆，就叫娘，那如果一个女生不经常化妆，你是不是要叫我爹？
If a boy often puts on makeup, he is called his mother. If a girl does not put on makeup often, do you want to call me father?
沉默是金，都别跟我说话，我要多多存钱。
Silence is golden, don talk to me, I want to save more money.
你说我长得矮，简直是笑话，你可是在我面前永远抬不起头的人。
You say that I am short, it is a joke, but you are the person who can never lift your head in front of me.
为什么我不上班，因为家里牛啊，羊啊，没人放…
Why don’t I go to work, because no one keeps cattle and sheep at home...
易烊千玺拉黑我，我无所谓，许光汉说不爱我，我很淡然，但是我看了100多秒广告发现自己看错了集数，我真的哭了。
Yi Yang Qianxi blocked me, I don care, Xu Guanghan said that he didn love me, I was very indifferent, but I saw the advertisement for more than 100 seconds and found that I had read the wrong episode, and I really cried.
我去民政局排了一天的队，那个人却说要两个人才能结婚，她什么意思？
I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to line up for a day, but that person said that it takes two people to get married. What does she mean?
整容后我发现自己嘴角上翘，就对医生说：“你把爷给整笑了”。
After the plastic surgery, I found that the corners of my mouth were upturned, so I said to the doctor: "You gave me a full smile."
都说了，现在这个社会，靠什么都不可靠，能依靠只有我自己，总结起来就两个字：我靠。
Having said that, in this society nowadays, nothing is reliable. I can only rely on myself. To sum it up, there are only two words: I rely on.
感谢地铁，好久没有在男孩子怀里这么久了。
Thanks to the subway, it’s been a long time since I was in the arms of a boy.
处对象吗？单手起瓶盖，徒手拆快递，走路到哪都不路痴，无聊还可以给你表演单口相声。
Is it an object? Pick up the bottle cap with one hand and remove the express delivery with your bare hands. You can walk anywhere, and you can even perform stand-up comedy when you are bored.
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